Thursday, March 3, 2011

fuck you pam

The phantom inspired by my dad

Ok this is going to be a work in progress,

The phantom reminds me of my father because of dark hideous truth that disfigured his upbringing. My father's life was disfigured by a horrific tragedy which destroyed all potential to find love, he was so desperate for love he looked for it in all the wrong places and would run away from any thing that would tie him to the possibility of him hurting someone they way he was hurt. He killed him self in the end, after 48 years of struggling and denial and hurt he found him self destroyed by the person he tried to love a women with no love for him, a women who used him to achieve what she wanted,

The Phantom saute love from christine after teaching her taking her under his wing, trusting her and she betrayed him for beauty she wanted love to be simple, she could not love someone disfigured on the outside like Pam couldn't love my dad for his disfigured personality

no one can tell me they understand what he went through NO one can tell me he could have tried harder NO ONE


What happened to my father to disfigure him on the inside, his stepfather the only one he knew and the one he knew to be his and his mother died of hypothermia after a boating accident, leaving 5 children with out parents my father the oldest of the 5 found out through a man I would slap if he were still alive that Grandpa Auto ( I DONT CARE HE'S MY GRANDPA, my real dads father couldn't show up to his own sons funeral he's dead to me any ways) wasn't his real dad and that he didn't want him my grandfathers own brother a hideously mean man said this well my father was listening, so guess what no one wanted him. My great grandma and grandpa Mclean wanted to take all the children and keep them together but no they werent aloud and they were all split up well this fucked up my dad being with a family that to them wasn't his so why would they want to take care of him or spend the time to, my father left home at 16 and I don't know much of that story other then when he was 18 he got his inharentince and spent it. he had the smallest amount because his had the least amount of time to grow. He went on to be a cowboy, stripper, hunting guide, fishing guide, and everything under the sun but how I remember him is as a cowboy. His relationships that i know of included two failed marriages the first to my mother. He never could except love he couldn't handle money and he was miserable when tied down he was a wild horse till he met Pam and she killed him in side

Like me he hangs on to the ones that want nothing to do with him because why hang on to the ones that actually want you ? that only makes sense

She gambeled, stole his money, got drunk off wine 90% of the time and is pure evil

the one thing I was willing to do anything to keep was my fathers dog Cache and what did she let me have a couple books and dirty clothes

this woman had it worked out so that she got everything if my dad died ( no will of course not ) her kids got everything leaving my dad with nothing

the house they built that my dad did all the hard work for gets paid off cause the mortgagee was in his name

you know what the first thing this evil satanic woman said to me when i went to my relatives after finding out over the phone that my dad had SHOOT HIM SELF ??? she said thanks for coming it means a lot ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HES MY FATHER MY FATHER


ok i should stop right now I think im very very very angry

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